Who am I?

In an attempt to answer the biggest question of my life, I wrote this post to show an overview of my journey to finding the answer.

12 February 2022 Photo by Tolga Ahmetler Photo by Tolga Ahmetler

Who am I?

This question has led to many Google searches. “What is a person who thinks holistically and compartmentalizes called?”, got different search results. “Who is a system thinker?”, finally some answers.

Well, I might not be a system thinker, I might be far from it, but so far the definition I got describes what I do and how I do these things on a daily basis.

It might just be that that’s the approach I take when solving problems, but doesn’t that make me that thing?

Recently, starting at the end of 2021, I’ve been burdened with the pursuit of knowledge, “What?”, “Who?”, “Why?”, “Where?”, “When?”, “Which?”, “How?”. The big seven have been kind of a mantra for me, they make more sense now than they ever have in my lifetime.

And one that has stuck with me is; “Who?”.

Why Who?

Lol, see what I just did there?

I’d like to think that “Who?” chose me at this point in my life because I’m at a point in my life where I am trying to figure out a lot of things.

“What do I want to do?”, “How do I want to do … ?”, “When can I do … ?”, but the most important is “Who can do it?”.

But I quickly found out that “Why?” accompanies “Who?” well, “Why do you want to do … ?”, and “Why do want to find out who you are?”.

Sometimes you can fall into a wormhole, ending up with more questions than answers, but isn’t that the beauty of it all?

What did you find out?

Time to do some itemization, yay!

  1. The system thinker thing: Sometimes people view me as being pessimistic when I say some things won’t work, at least for that time, but, why build a system when you know some components will fail and not say anything about it, this is a result of research and thinking so far ahead of the system being built, again I’m no expert, as this is a very sensitive topic.

  2. Compartmentalizing: Before starting out on anything, I like to have all components or aspects before taking an action, even though life happens, you’re prepared, no? When all your components are healthy, well needless to say everything moves way better.

  3. Don’t rush me (Right pressure): Let’s just say I thrive in a right-pressure environment. Bringing it into the biological & physical side, we all need some level of pressure to survive, but, what happens when it goes too far in either direction? Well, bad things happen, for me, it’s burnout which was basically the entirety of 2021.

These are just a few because I learn new things about myself every day, which brings me to my last point.

I’m all alone, and it feels good

Of course, I have family and friends, they play an integral role in my daily discovery, and I love all of them for that, big shout out to you guys.

I’m not in a romantic relationship and this is totally a me-thing. Being in a romantic relationship means getting to understand each other and I can’t add understanding another person to my current load of understanding myself.

Maybe this might change, but for now, nah.

Final thoughts

“Who am I?” is a very powerful question, that can be very daunting, throwing you into what feels like an endless spiral, but isn’t that the true goal? Finding purpose? knowing that you did what you were meant to do and did it well.

I’ll leave that to your imagination.

I love you guys, see you next time. xoxo.